Sometimes the news is handed to you on a plate.  Frederic J. Baur died several days ago, and as he requested, part of his cremated remains were placed in a Pringles can.  No, this wasn’t his only option; it was his decision. Baur, a Ph.D. Presbyterian, held the patent on the popular plastic-topped potato chip container. You might say he poured himself into his work.  In fact there are voluminous Web sites that use the good doctor’s creation as raw material for arts and crafts designs.  It may rank up there with the Popsicle stick as having attended more Vacation Bible Schools than a crocheted cross.

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Forget the gas, let’s focus on dough.  I went grocery shopping for the missus the other day and almost had a conniption near the cantaloupe.  There was a table of bread set up as an obstacle course in the produce section.  It couldn’t be avoided.  In large letters hovering over the wheat and rye, like a cat-walker in a dog park, was the word “SALE.”  When I saw the price I realized why they put the bread in the produce section.  The bakers were too embarrassed to keep it in their department!  Who knew that bread would “rise” at the same time dough was falling?  Fact is the dollar is swooning faster than the countenance of a Hummer dealer.

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Fifteen bucks for a bag of belongings? One airline has announced that you can still check your bags at the ticket counter, but it’ll cost you. Suddenly you’ll have to decide between a chicken sandwich at a food chain and that suitcase with your sinus medicine in it. Either transaction will be a lesson in economics and efficiency. And from my last trip through the fast lane at a slow-food restaurant, it was obvious I wasn’t the only one with fallen arches!

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Millions are asking the question of Albert Einstein, “What’s the matter?” According to a news report this week, the late scientist declared that the Bible was a “childish” book. Mr. Theory of Relativity is no relative of mine. His observations may weigh more than a tanker full of crude oil to some, but to me they don’t hold enough water to baptize a butterfly. The bidder who will fork over $10,000 or more for the letter containing his opinion will own nothing more than a handful of spiritual speculations that are as dependable as a politician’s promise in a primary election.

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It had to happen; the times were ripe for a rooftop rift.  This week an Indiana man climbed to the top of a convenience store and sang his way into the hearts of customers below, who were spending their life savings pumping enough fuel to finish mowing their side of the chain link fence.  He sang an original tune, “Price Gouge’n,” and it was a gas!  The customers gave him a standing ovation.  The police gave him a complimentary ride to the station (which saved him a couple of dollars in gasoline and cost him a day’s wage at the ethanol plant).  Evidently the authorities aren’t fans of American “Idle.” Continue reading this post…

The presidential primaries are getting to be more fun than a church business meeting to decide on turning the multi-purpose building into a hockey rink “Can’t we all get along” has turned into a “can’t get a word in edgewise.” Jockeying in the biggest horse race in the land is taking a drastic turn for the verse. Split infinitives and split hairs are flying everywhere. He said, she said is the new political speak and we are the befuddled listeners. What’s worse is the fact that we’ve only just begun. A long season of rancor is blossoming like a Christmas Chia Pet in the Amazon forest. Continue reading this post…

General Motors has a better idea. They are developing driverless cars. For those who have been bullied by human-driven cars in the passing lane of a road that merges in 500 feet, this will be as good as a ban on pompous political ads. Continue reading this post…

There is a new video game on the market. Surprise! Nintendo calls it “Drawn to Life.” Draw your own life with a virtual stylus; then fight the animated forces of an enemy called “Wilfre.” He and his merry men of menacing monitor mites appear as “evil shadows.” Your computer self and your virtual villagers are called to turn the evil shadows into bright clouds. Continue reading this post…

Forget the exit polls. Toss the TV naysayers. Tune out the bobblehead merchants of menace on the cable channels. I project a winner in the presidential election: God. Granted He’s only been allowed brief appearances in the debates—mentioned like a celebrity cousin at a family picnic; His name has been noticeably absent from signage in the audience wide shots by news photographers; and the media have given Him as much attention as Ralph Nader’s running mate. But He’ll win—by an infinite margin.

This won’t be the first campaign that considered Him a political liability. Cutesy correctness stretches all the way back to the time of Joshua. Matter of fact the pollsters must have interrupted Joshua’s family meal with a telephone call or something. I remember him saying, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” This election, or any other, is not a definitive statement on God’s sovereign superiority. Long after the platform under the presidential box of the inaugural parade has been torn down, His throne will still be standing—solid as gold.

Tumbling stocks and rising resentment have created a national angst. Fear has misplaced faith for those whose fortunes are measured in zeroes on printed paper trails and pixeled monitor screens. Grasping for realities that were only digital figments of their financial imaginations, many have succumbed to motion sickness on the Wall Street roller coaster rides.

Hold on traveler! God will win no matter who gains the popular vote in this or any election. The Apostle said “In Him we live and move and have our being.” Though some seek to banish Him to the cheap seats of the age, He still holds the planets in orbit and people still hug the earth by virtue of His gravity. His hand does not shake in the winds of these times. His vaults are still full. His grace is not in recession.

And by the way, “Know that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes and sets over them the lowliest of men”  (Daniel 4:17 NIV). The high and the mighty are no match for the Holy and Majestic One. Every government is a “puppet” government in the hands that hold time as well. The multibillions who observe from the suites of heaven’s grandstands have already cast their absentee ballots.