Forget the gas, let’s focus on dough.  I went grocery shopping for the missus the other day and almost had a conniption near the cantaloupe.  There was a table of bread set up as an obstacle course in the produce section.  It couldn’t be avoided.  In large letters hovering over the wheat and rye, like a cat-walker in a dog park, was the word “SALE.”  When I saw the price I realized why they put the bread in the produce section.  The bakers were too embarrassed to keep it in their department!  Who knew that bread would “rise” at the same time dough was falling?  Fact is the dollar is swooning faster than the countenance of a Hummer dealer.

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Fifteen bucks for a bag of belongings? One airline has announced that you can still check your bags at the ticket counter, but it’ll cost you. Suddenly you’ll have to decide between a chicken sandwich at a food chain and that suitcase with your sinus medicine in it. Either transaction will be a lesson in economics and efficiency. And from my last trip through the fast lane at a slow-food restaurant, it was obvious I wasn’t the only one with fallen arches!

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Millions are asking the question of Albert Einstein, “What’s the matter?” According to a news report this week, the late scientist declared that the Bible was a “childish” book. Mr. Theory of Relativity is no relative of mine. His observations may weigh more than a tanker full of crude oil to some, but to me they don’t hold enough water to baptize a butterfly. The bidder who will fork over $10,000 or more for the letter containing his opinion will own nothing more than a handful of spiritual speculations that are as dependable as a politician’s promise in a primary election.

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It had to happen; the times were ripe for a rooftop rift.  This week an Indiana man climbed to the top of a convenience store and sang his way into the hearts of customers below, who were spending their life savings pumping enough fuel to finish mowing their side of the chain link fence.  He sang an original tune, “Price Gouge’n,” and it was a gas!  The customers gave him a standing ovation.  The police gave him a complimentary ride to the station (which saved him a couple of dollars in gasoline and cost him a day’s wage at the ethanol plant).  Evidently the authorities aren’t fans of American “Idle.” (more…)